Making your ceremony personal
As a civil celebrant I ensure that every ceremony I create is different. It will reflect the person whose life is being honoured, and your own words will be used to describe them. Each of us is an individual and it is important that in saying goodbye to someone, we reflect their individuality.
Music choices are very important - will you choose something that they loved, or something which reflects your feelings? Either way, which artist do you want, and which version?
Poems can often summarise your feelings in a few words. There is a huge choice of poetry and readings. Sometimes you may have received a card with a poem which just sums up what you would like to say. Don't worry if it is something you've seen used elsewhere, poems become popular just because they are so effective at expressing the right feelings.
Have you thought about a visual tribute? You may have photographs on a printed Order of Service, but what about a photograph of the person displayed throughout the ceremony, either in a frame or on a screen. Slideshows are often used to display a number of different photographs, and these can be set to music - check with your funeral director whether this is possible at the venue you have chosen.
Is there something that could be displayed during the service that will bring the person to mind? A tool of their trade; a bottle of their favourite drink, or an item of clothing - football scarves are often used, but you are not limited to those. A beekeeper's veil, a golf club or cricket bat, a baseball cap from a favourite holiday destination or even a pair of walking boots - these are all items that will acknowledge the work, interests and passions of the person whose life is being celebrated.
You may feel that none of these is right for you, and that's fine too - because everyone is different. If your loved one was someone who lived simply and did not like a fuss, then it is proper that the service should reflect that. Make it personal to them, and you can take comfort in knowing that you have said goodbye in a way that was right for them.
Oct 16, 2022
